Dealing with Cynicism after Pentecostalism

Dealing with Cynicism after Pentecostalism

When one initially leaves Pentecostalism, it is a bitter cup to drink to admit that we were fooled and that we believed in something so stupid. Usually, after we leave, we must build defense mechanisms to protect ourselves. We do this because after a recent escape, we must vow never again to be fooled by any such movement or anything similar. This is a necessary process in most cases. We are so close to the exit from the religion that fooled us, and we might be vulnerable to get fooled again if we do not take steps to build up our defenses. Thus, we study the techniques used to manipulate people, and we form a way of thinking that sifts through the potential rubbish of anyone or any idea we meet. If we do not sift through the stuff that comes at us, we can end up in a similar situation that we left.

Emotional appeals to a particular political movement, or for a car sales pitch, or to meet some interesting person must be severely sifted. We were sucked in through the manipulation of our emotions, and we must be on guard like an armed sentry at the gate of our heart.

This is where the process of leaving can get difficult. We have been hurt severely and we vow to fight anything that even remotely would threaten us. We see potential friends approach us with an upbeat smiling face, and we have flashbacks to that evangelist preacher who had a similar smiling face who promised healings that never happened – but we deeply believed the evangelist. We look at the new potential friend or acquaintance with suspicion and cynicism. So, we link what we saw in the past with the things we are introduced to in the present. The past haunts our present.

Such a state of mind can produce a mild to severe form of cynicism in the Ex-Pentecostal. We were fooled so deeply by people we loved - in some cases with all our hearts. This has the potential – with a high degree of probability - to make cynics of us all. We see the potential evil in humans. We look at people we meet every day and try to figure out what type of manipulating evil they are capable of. We have come face to face with pure evil in our past and we begin to see evil all around us in the present.

Why do we do this? Is this normal? Is this potential cynical outlook bad?

I do not think that being a cynic as a recently emancipated Pentecostal is a bad thing. I think that we need a good dose of cynicism to balance out the lack of cynicism we overdosed on for years within Pentecostalism. Think of a pendulum. We were at one extreme of a big pendulum in Pentecostalism with full trust of our leaders. It is a good thing that for some time we swing to the other side of the pendulum to the point where we trust nobody. We must learn to build a solid boundary. Initially, we will tend to build a fortress of steel, iron and brick, as it were. Again, this is not a bad thing for a period of time to learn how to build boundaries. A strong dose of pure cynicism could be the proper dosage to offset the disease of Pentecostalism. However, after our mental immune system is healed with this serious, bitter dose of medicine, we can begin to wean ourselves from this bitter pill.

After a few years of getting our bearings, rebuilding our social networks, working through emotional problems with counselors and trusted friends, we should be able to let go of most or even all of our cynicism toward the world and toward other people. After we go through this dark period of treatment with the bitter medicine of cynicism, we can begin to love again – although we must start out slowly. We must test ourselves in many cases to see how easily we fall for scams, but we can begin to reach out to others once more. Our bitter cynicism will be seen by the observant ones a little behind our eyes, and that will be a mark of wisdom through trial in our souls. We will be able to see evil without affecting the innocent. We will be able to recognize evil long before it affects our families and social circles long before so that we can take preventive measures from this experience of wisdom.

We must always remember that as Ex-Pentecostals we have several stages to go through before we are truly healed and free. If we suffer from cynicism, we just need to remember that this too shall pass, and that tomorrow is another day, and each day it gets a little easier.

derkrash-at-earthlink-dot-net
JP Istre